Last night i made a semi clear-out-the-fridge carrot soup for dinner.
It was pretty good.
Then i kinda left it out on the counter for a while before glad wrapping the bowl it was in and putting it in the fridge.
This morning i go to take out the bowl for lunch aND THERE IS A FUCKING DEAD GECKO JUST FLOATING HALF SUBMERGED IN THE TOP OF THE SOUP AND OMG WHY WHYYY.
AND ME BEING ME I'M LIKE WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT AS I'M LOOKING AT THIS GIANT ASS DEAD ASS GECKO DEFILING MY SOUP WHICH DEFINITELY WASN'T THERE WHEN I PUT THE BOWL AWAY AND ALL I CAN THINK IS "NO MY SOUP" AND NOT "I ATE SOME OF THIS SOUP JUST BEFORE I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE".
AND THEN BECAUSE I HAVE THE MOST FUCKED UP SENSE OF THE 5 SECOND RULE WHICH OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT APPLY TO THIS SITUATION BUT ANYWAY I WAS LIKE MAYBE I CAN SALVAGE THIS SOUP BY REMOVING THE GECKO.
SO I GOT A SPOON AND LIFTED THE GECKO AND ALL THE SURROUNDING SOUP OUT AND LO AND BEHOLD I NOTICE THAT THE GECKO TAIL HAS ALREADY SEPARATED AND IS FLOATING SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE SOUP AND THE NOPE TRAIN FINALLY LEFT THE FUCKING STATION GOODBYE LUNCH YOU ARE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN.